Going back to the heart of worship
Going back to the heart of worship
Helen Harwood interviews recent MA graduate Ruwani Gunawardene, who believes worship holds a key to reconciliation
by Helen Harwood,
HH: Ruwani, you have just finished a three-year MA, what originally led you to study at CMS?
RG: After studying for my ordination, I had a desire to go deeper into theology. During the time I was completing my discernment and training, I happened to meet Jonny Baker at a virtual event. I was privileged to have a one-to-one conversation with him about something that I have been aware of right through my life – the clash of faith and culture. After listening to me, Jonny mentioned the Pioneering MA. I didn’t think I would be able to study at Masters level but with encouragement from friends I was grateful to gain a position on the course.
Can you tell us about your situation when you first came to us and how it is now?
As mentioned, I had just been ordained and started a curacy in the Diocese of London. I am a self-supporting minister and work for the diocese during the week. Studying, doing a curacy and working Monday to Friday meant I had a very busy three years. I always wanted to relate theological study to church life, and the curacy gave me plenty of opportunity to reflect and make connections with theory and praxis.
After three years in one parish, I am now in a different tradition and continue with my work in the diocese. I cherish the different traditions that the Anglican church holds together which is one of the most attractive things about this denomination.
Can you tell us about your cohort, and what the course has given you that helped you?
My cohort was the best! We had a few of us leave after the first and second year and some of us continued to the end. But even the friends who left stayed in touch with us on our WhatsApp group and encouraged and cheered us on whilst we were writing essays and our dissertations. The group chat allowed us to ask questions we did not want to trouble our tutors with and was a great way to keep morale up during pressured times of writing.
The course has given me so much for understanding my context in life and ministry. The reading lists were amazing, and to be connected to a historic organisation such as CMS which has connections to my birth country was very special.
I know you have said you looked at your context in a way that honours God, and I wonder if you can say more about that.
Well, having been raised in the Anglican Communion in Sri Lanka during my formational years and now living in the UK for most of my adult life brings about various cultural conflicts that unless you have encountered this mixture, one will find difficult to understand.
I like to ask the question why we do what we do? And sometimes my Sri Lankan upbringing and cultural practices do not give me the answers which I feel to be God honouring, let alone the freedom to ask the question! Equally, some Western Christian ways of seeing things raised questions in my mind. So, I try to ask the question in what way can I honour God when faced with conflicting situations?
For example, going through a divorce and asking the question how can I honour God in this mess? Honouring the years of marriage there were at the time of parting and doing it as well as I could in a way that we honour the family situation and not fight tooth and nail, was seen as foolish by some. For me this allowed space for my kids to grow up in a less contentious environment.
I know you have had reconciliation training, and your dissertation looked at worship as reconciliation. Can you say more about that, please?
My formational years were spent worshipping with Western hymnody. As a young person growing up in the City and worshipping in the original Anglican Cathedral in Colombo as a second-generation kid of post-colonial parents, this was normal. After arriving in the church in the UK and experiencing cultural differences, a myriad of questions arose in me about cultural expressions and faith. I strongly believe in reconciliation that is offered to us through the Eucharist as a gathered people of God. I feel the negative aspects of colonialism can never be repaid by material means. The imago deo of the persons affected can only be reconciled through the act of worship that touches the souls of all involved and the willingness of the Western church to be uncomfortable with new worship traditions and styles which adds value to another culture.
I am particularly interested in the region of South Asia where there is rich Indian classical heritage of the arts. I explored the use of Satsang style worship as a means of reconciliation in the Western church. People in that part of the world have sung English hymnody for centuries now, so why not give some space for the beauty of the Asian classical genre to come to the fore in the Western world and honour that culture. Embracing another cultural expression is missional reconciliation. We worship the Lord of the Nations and right now it does not feel that way.
We can despair when we look at the world around us which is increasingly polarised due to race, caste, creed etc. If we believe that we worship God the Creator of the universe, we have the gift of worship which can be the antithesis to shift culture around us.
Can you tell us about the Transforming Shame network, and how this works, please?
I was curious when I was introduced to this group during the pandemic and have remained closely attached to the core team since. The team consists of published authors on shame. Over the years I have come to understand that I have suffered acute shaming in my life which is partly cultural.
One significant issue has been being left out of family weddings because I am considered a disgrace being divorced. You might say this is archaic in the 21st century, but the communal shaming I have faced has been very damaging to me and my family unit to say the least. I want to shine a light on this dark side of culture.
The Transforming Shame network gives a safe space for anyone to address issues of shaming they have experienced and learn from each other. It is not a place for counselling or therapy but a space for knowing you are not on your own.
When diaspora cultures which are ‘shame and honour’ cultures gather in a mono-cultural setting, such traits tend to continue and become more pronounced. Once again, I go back to the heart of worship, that if we can be accepted with our cultural goodness among the wider Christian family, harm can be mitigated on both sides. I speak with personal experience of seeing the goodness of a multicultural church family in this country standing by me and my children as I raised them on my own. They covered my shame. You can read a blog on shame here.
Finally, how can we pray for you?
Please pray that I will be able to see Asian Christian worship flourish in the West in my lifetime.
Thank you Ruwani for sharing with us in such a deep and personal way.
