“Stars, I know who made you”
Read how I met the maker of stars and how this changed my life
Photo: “I often pray under the stars,” says our anonymous mission partner
“My name is – well, I can’t actually tell you, because who I am, where I work and much of what I do must be kept secret. But I can tell you how I met the maker of stars and how this has changed my life.
I grew up in a close-knit, Sunni Muslim family in the Middle East. Every Friday, we would spend the day eating, talking and having fun together. Our house had a nice garden where we could look up and see the stars at night.
Our religion, Islam, was always part of our tradition, of school, of family life – but I always had questions.
When I was seven, I learned that according to Islamic teaching, Jesus was taken up to heaven. That night I couldn’t sleep, thinking about Jesus looking down on me.
Meeting the star-maker
In my teens, I began to learn more about my faith. I studied the Quran. I learned about the history of Islam and the conflicts within it. I began to realise that much of my faith’s history was about seeking power rather than seeking God. I kept asking: what is the truth?
I had a recurring nightmare about Judgement Day. In the dream, I panicked because I wasn’t ready to meet God. The religious practices I had grown up with never brought me peace; I always felt guilty for not doing enough to please God.
For much of my teens and early 20s, I was in a dark place mentally and emotionally. One night, unable to sleep, I went online and stumbled upon an Arabic Christian channel.
As I watched I heard the gospel and it began to make so much sense. This led me to connect with groups of Christians on social media. I spent many nights secretly reading the Bible while my family was asleep.
As I read the Bible, I began to see the prophets I knew put into context. I saw the continuity of the story of salvation and the prophecies about Jesus in the Old Testament. I was moved by the way Jesus lived and his compassion, the witness of the early disciples who mostly died as martyrs, and the kindness of the Christians I met, who patiently answered my questions.
Meeting BMBs (believers from a Muslim background) and hearing their testimonies also played a significant role in drawing me to faith in Jesus.
The verse “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6) resonated deeply with me – truth is not just a concept but a person: Jesus.
I was learning more about Jesus every day, but I hadn’t yet committed my life to him. One night I had started reading the Gospel of John when something happened. As I read about the Word becoming flesh, my eyes were opened and I heard God’s voice telling me that he is my father. I cried because I knew that I had just met the living God.
My joy was indescribable. I wanted to celebrate and tell everyone what had happened, but I couldn’t share this with my family. Instead, I went outside and danced in the garden. I remember looking at the stars and saying to them, “Now I know who made you.”
Facing my family
I knew I had found the truth I had been looking for, but now I had to face my family, who were all still deeply committed Muslims. My family could see that I was a true believer and had turned my back on Islam, which caused more and more tension between us. I eventually felt I had to leave my home country. I came to the UK, where I applied for asylum. I didn’t know whether I would see my family again.
Choosing to follow Jesus meant losing my community back home. When my parents died, I couldn’t go to their funerals.
But knowing Jesus meant that for the first time, I had the assurance of eternal life. Jesus liberated me from a self-centred life and taught me to live a sacrificial life of love for others, including my enemies. Jesus gave me a voice as a woman, showed me that I am equally valued and that I can be called and used by him.
I started my theological training, but I didn’t know yet what God was calling me to do. Then one night I had a clear dream where Jesus said to me, “Preach the cross and I am with you.” I started pursuing this calling in 2012.
Following a calling
Over the past few years God has been stirring my heart to return to the Middle East and North Africa, where the vast majority of the population is Muslim. At the end of 2021, I had the opportunity to visit the Middle East for the first time since leaving. I hadn’t seen my family for 15 years, but by God’s grace, we were reconciled and they welcomed me back.
I reached out to CMS and was accepted as a mission partner in the Middle East. I am eager to lay down my life for Muslim people to come to faith in Jesus, become disciples and, in turn, disciple others.
“I am eager to lay down my life for Muslim people to come to faith in Jesus, become disciples and, in turn, disciple others.”
I was recently introduced to a couple. The husband had heard the gospel but had not been discipled. He later married and shared the gospel with his wife and, after two years, she too became a believer. They have a young son. She wanted to be baptised, but her family and her husband’s family rejected them because of their decision to become believers, meaning it wasn’t safe for her to take the step of baptism.
I began meeting with the wife, who I will call M, at her home, leading her through a programme which helps BMBs to grow in their identity in Jesus. Over time, M’s trust in me has grown and she says her faith now has a backbone. Praise God.
However, she still experienced challenges in getting baptised. She was hurt and confused that even church leaders were reluctant to baptise her, fearing for their own safety as well as hers.
One day during Ramadan, M was wearing a hijab and drinking coffee in her building. Another woman, from eight floors up, was surprised to hear M calling her son by a Christian name. The two women realised that they were both believers.
I connected with this family and another one in the same building. We planned to travel out of the country for M’s baptism but at every turn we experienced resistance. One of the families in the building connected us with their priest. He said he would be willing to take the risk and baptise her.
One Saturday, seven of us gathered for the baptism. The place that was chosen is my own birthplace as well as where I first encountered Christ. We worshipped and prayed together while we waited for the priest, who needed to travel some distance.
This priest was so humble and so joyful – I was struck by his courage. He told me he could never say no to baptising someone, no matter what the risk. A beautiful liturgy was read and M later told me that when she came out of the water, she felt a huge burden had been lifted from her chest. This was the same experience that I had. I feel privileged to be able to continue to walk with her in discipleship.
Heart for the harvest
For others like me who have given up their community to follow Jesus, I pray that the Church can truly be family. I had to leave my country to live out my faith and be equipped to reach others with the gospel, but it doesn’t have to be this way for believers in the Middle East now. As it says in Matthew chapter 9, the harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few.
If we can equip and train BMBs where they are, we can accelerate the spread of the gospel in the Middle East and North Africa.
Pray together
Join us for a live online prayer event for the Middle East on Wednesday 19 November 2025. Hear updates from Christians in the Middle East and CMS people in mission.
